Slytherin Wrongfully Accused!

Hi gang! I simply couldn't pass up on the opportunity to join in on this most engaging KAL. A total and complete Harry Potter fan, I combine that laudable characteristic with a fanaticisim for knitting, crochet, spinning, and in fact all forms of craftwork, be they fibre or wizardry. So obviously I am now at home among my family!

You may notice I've chosen Slytherin - or perhaps it chose me. Well it's about time some of us did something to retrieve that noble House's reputation. It has been somewhat badly done by up to now, simply because of the bad press it has received from others (hang your head, Gryffindor!) We Slytherins simply (although 'simple' is not a word normally found in our extensive and educated vocabulary) pride ourselves on upholding the exceptionally high standards, both of wizardry and of elegance, for which we have always been renowned.

To that end, I shall commence by creating the most supreme pair of socks in Slytherin colours (green and silver, Earth and Water, the perfect witching combination), which will showcase the twining Serpent which is of course the Slytherin crest.

(I might then go on to make Molly Weasley's amazing jacket with crochet sleeves, since I hold no grudge against those who could achieve no higher than Gryffindor. Plus I loved that jacket from the first moment I saw it. I got my pattern from Fruitcats and you can find it there too if you're so inclined - and you SHOULD be, it's incredible!)

I am in a fever of dread and anticipation about both the forthcoming film AND the final book. The film since, having read The Order of the Phoenix, I don't know if I can bear to see those dreadful happenings played out on screen. The final book - well, because it is the final book of course. That's too dreadful to contemplate.

Which brings me to another serious difficulty. Help me on this one. I shall of course grab my copy at midnight on the due date. But do I then follow my natural instinct (start it slowly, savouring every sentence of this last-ever instalment, read a chapter a day as a treat, thus extending the pleasure to the last moment possible) or keep up with the Potterses (start reading in the shop, don't stop for sleep, food, anything, until the last line is reached around dawn) ?

I don't WANT to read it quickly. How could I? That's no way to treat a classic. But if I go with my pleasure-loving instinct, how am I to avoid hearing every detail on all sides? (I'm a journalist by trade, by the way.) Could I go into a hermitage? No, they'll probably be reading it too. Emigrate to Outer Mongolia? Not a hope, it's probably translated already and neatly stacked in piles in Ulan Bator. Stay home without watching TV, taking phone calls, reading emails or indeed this KAL? Possible but difficult. V-E-R-Y difficult.

Advice welcomed.

(Bows magnificently, turns and sweeps to Slytherin table, trailing long black cloak lined with sparkling green, to cheers and applause from The House, boos and hisses from Those Other Three Losers - sorry, houses.)