Monday, April 30, 2007

The Soft and Cuddly Dark Lord

When we last left the Dark Lord, he had woken in a daze only to find that, though a potion screw up, he'd been turned into a cute and cuddly version of himself. When the horror of that realization passed he took in his surroundings and found that a change of body wasn't the only thing that the potion had done.

"This is not my house. Look at this decor... oh no..."
"Buffy? The X-Files? Jack Sparrow? I'm in a Muggle's house. And she's a NERD!!"

Desperate for clothes and unable to locate his wand, he began rummaging through the muggle's things. Luckily for him, he found something he was able to use...

"Ha, and Lucius laughed at me for taking that sewing class."

"Damn, I am one sexy evil lord of the world. Wait! What's that noise? The muggle!"

The unaware muggle woman returned home from a long day's work. As she entered something poked her through her shoe.

"What the...?"
"It looks like a little wand. But where did it come from?"


"Muggle! I demand that you return my wand immediately!"

"Aww, how cute! It's a soft and cuddly version of the Dark Lord."

"I am NOT soft and cud- wait... how do you know who I am?"

"Everyone knows who you are! The whole world is completely enthralled with the stories of Harry Potter and the Dark Lord."

"Story? Show me these stories!"

"What absolute rubbish! What propaganda! Oh sure, he's the big victim! He's the big hero. What about MY pain? What about MY hardships?"

"Well, why don't you tell me about them?"

"Yes Muggle, look into my eyes. Show me how to manipulate you. Show me how to control you..."

"Sorry? I didn't catch that..."

"I said... you have lovely eyes. Perhaps I can trust you."

"Aww, how sweet."

"Very well, I will tell you my sad story... it has been many years since I've told anyone about my past."

Coming soon: Part 3 - Dark Lords Have Feelings Too

10 comments:

Karen said...

Fabulous!

'Fear my wrath Muggle!'

Looking forward to Part 3!

Cheryl said...

I actually had to explain to DH why I was laughing at my computer(keep in mind there was just a "dispute" as to why he cannot make coffee but can drink coffee others make) This is terrific....I love the Evil Little Guy....(not referring to DH he is 6'6")

Lynn said...

Isn't it nice we have this great forum to vent our little delusions..wait I mean cute stories? :)

LOL

Jen Smith said...

Fabulous fabulous! Keep it coming!

knittingnurse said...

I wonder if JK knits? If so, you should REALLY send this on to her once you are done with episode 7. There will be 7 right? Just like the books?

Y'know, you only have yourself to blame for being so darn clever and talented!

Janet said...

Oh my gosh!!!
Someone has way to much free time on their hands. Enjoy it now, and thank you for the reprieve from reality.
Your dark lord is pretty creepy.

Em said...

I love a series! Keep it up! What kind of feelings does a Dark Lord have, after all?

Ann said...

You are cracking me up!
I just love the idea of Voldemort taking a sewing class. :)
Seeing your dvd collection I must ask if you are in the scifi kal. If not, you should be. It's ongoing group of scifi and fantasy fans that like to knit. You should check it out.

Carrie Penny said...

I just browsed this post... You just made my morning... Thank you!!!

Miss Scarlett said...

I LOVE IT!
Hilarious - your photos are excellent. My favourite is the one in the mirror, or wait the one at the sewing machine or...I can't wait for the revelation of the DL's feelings.