The Soft and Cuddly Dark Lord

When we last left the Dark Lord, he had woken in a daze only to find that, though a potion screw up, he'd been turned into a cute and cuddly version of himself. When the horror of that realization passed he took in his surroundings and found that a change of body wasn't the only thing that the potion had done.

"This is not my house. Look at this decor... oh no..."
"Buffy? The X-Files? Jack Sparrow? I'm in a Muggle's house. And she's a NERD!!"

Desperate for clothes and unable to locate his wand, he began rummaging through the muggle's things. Luckily for him, he found something he was able to use...

"Ha, and Lucius laughed at me for taking that sewing class."

"Damn, I am one sexy evil lord of the world. Wait! What's that noise? The muggle!"

The unaware muggle woman returned home from a long day's work. As she entered something poked her through her shoe.

"What the...?"
"It looks like a little wand. But where did it come from?"


"Muggle! I demand that you return my wand immediately!"

"Aww, how cute! It's a soft and cuddly version of the Dark Lord."

"I am NOT soft and cud- wait... how do you know who I am?"

"Everyone knows who you are! The whole world is completely enthralled with the stories of Harry Potter and the Dark Lord."

"Story? Show me these stories!"

"What absolute rubbish! What propaganda! Oh sure, he's the big victim! He's the big hero. What about MY pain? What about MY hardships?"

"Well, why don't you tell me about them?"

"Yes Muggle, look into my eyes. Show me how to manipulate you. Show me how to control you..."

"Sorry? I didn't catch that..."

"I said... you have lovely eyes. Perhaps I can trust you."

"Aww, how sweet."

"Very well, I will tell you my sad story... it has been many years since I've told anyone about my past."

Coming soon: Part 3 - Dark Lords Have Feelings Too